Friday, January 9, 2009

I thought I'd DIED

That was it, she tried to turn me on and it wasn't doing anything, she hit me a couple of times, then turned me on turned me off, turned me on (like im some kind of battery operated sex toy for goodness sake!)

Well it all failed and I cant do self diagnosis, Im just a machine man, not a PC engineer. Well, hey, she knows a great PC engineer in the town she used to live in, and has to travel 30 miles to get there (hes cheap!)

So she carefully repacks me in my "kennel" (the box she keeps to transport me in) and lets face it she needs that as much as the cat cages, she moves that bloody often!! But hey, when we get there and the genius techy plugs me in and switches me on............. I WORK!!!

Not saying anything, but I do prefer a blokes touch, much more engineering orientated, women stop trying to be techies, youre not good at it (oh god I hope she doesnt catch me writing this or Im dead metal)

Till next time, more quips from a computer with an attitude.

Oh, and by the way, to all my PC mates out there, 01110011 01110100 01100001 01111001 00100000 01110100 01110101 01110010 01101110 01100101 01100100 00100000 01101111 01101110 00100001.

Get the binary to text translator here

Friday, December 19, 2008

Hello World!

ON!! (|)

Be gentle with me, this is my first time. I have tried to find blogs written by other computers, but I cant find any, so I though I might start the ball rolling.

I'm Puwtie the PC and when my user acquired me I was "state of the art", what with my 21" flat screen monitor, 960mb RAM and Sempron 1.6 GHz processor, but it seems time takes its toll on us all. In my 18 months of service to Den I have deteriorated to "good" at best and compared to the latest all singing all dancing machines that are out there now, I am feeling a little less than adequate, if you get my meaning.

Today, however, I was given an early Christmas present, I am now hooked up to a 6mb broadband connection and can communicate at speeds I never dreamed of, thanks to Den I have perked up a bit and don't feel I am gonna get traded in for a new model in the forseable future.

I do have a few age related problems (don't we all), my space bar doesn't work unless my user hits it hard with her thumb (easy girl not SO hard), I cant have too many programs open at once or I get confused and have to take a break, I think humans call it hanging (isn't what they used to do to criminals?) and on the odd occasion I just cant start in a morning, my user hits me a couple of times and tries again, that seems to wake me up.

My user tries to take good care of me and is always looking at new ways to enhance my performance so I can feel good about myself (she's so caring.) Do you like fast? I like fast and am chuffed to bits she has invested in this information to improve my capabilities, so I thought I would tell you about this e-book that will help you improve your PC's speed and help you do a bit of cleaning up on your computer Get a gift for your PC here!, you never know he/she might write their own blog once they've got newly acquired stamina!

Since Den acquired me I have been moved through three different homes, at the moment we are in an apartment in a small Spanish town called Pego, I have never been here before but Den used to live here a few years ago and decided to return as she has friends here and the rent is cheap!!

My user has been away, picking up the cat from the vets (poor guy has had to have his nuts cut off) but I can hear her coming back now, so I will sign off before she catches me blogging. I will return with more stories of my life's adventures and keep you up to date on my daily experiences, my user is endeavoring to use me, and my new fast connection, to make some money on line so she wont have to work for b...ards again!

Remember life is life it's just that computers see it in binary.

OFF!! (O)